take our intimacy couples checklist to see if intimacy issues are affecting your marriage or relationship.

Intimacy is the lifeblood of a fulfilling relationship, fostering a deep emotional connection, vulnerability, and mutual understanding between partners. It goes beyond physical closeness to encompass emotional, intellectual, and spiritual bonding, creating a space where both individuals feel valued, loved, and supported. When intimacy issues arise, it can lead to feelings of loneliness, frustration, and detachment, undermining the sense of unity and partnership.

To help you evaluate the intimacy in your relationship, consider the following checklist to identify potential issues and areas that could use more attention so your relationship thrives.

Checklist to Determine if Intimacy is Causing Issues in Your Relationship

Check any of the following signs that you have noticed in your partner:

Do you and your partner regularly share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with each other?

Do you feel emotionally supported and understood by your partner?

Are there frequent feelings of emotional distance or detachment between you and your partner?

Is physical affection (such as hugging, kissing, or holding hands) a regular part of your relationship?

Do you feel comfortable initiating physical contact with your partner?

Has there been a noticeable decline in physical affection over time?

Are you and your partner satisfied with your sexual relationship?

Do you feel comfortable discussing your sexual needs and desires with your partner?

Have there been changes in sexual frequency, interest, or satisfaction that concern you?

Do you spend quality time together, engaging in activities that you both enjoy?

Are there shared interests and hobbies that you regularly pursue together?

Do you feel that the time spent together is meaningful and enriching?

Can you discuss intimate topics with your partner without fear of judgment or rejection?

Are you able to express your needs and desires openly and honestly?

Is there effective communication about issues affecting your intimacy?

Do you feel emotionally safe and secure when sharing vulnerable aspects of yourself with your partner?

Is your partner respectful and considerate of your feelings and needs?

Are there any patterns of criticism, blame, or emotional withdrawal in your relationship?

Are there any physical health issues affecting intimacy in your relationship?

Do you or your partner experience fatigue, stress, or other factors that impact your ability to be intimate?

Have you discussed any health concerns that may be influencing your intimacy with your partner?

Do you trust your partner to be there for you emotionally and physically?

Is there a foundation of mutual respect and trust in your relationship?

Are there unresolved trust issues that might be affecting your ability to be intimate?

Have past relationships or experiences influenced your current views on intimacy?

Are there unresolved traumas or issues that might be impacting your ability to be intimate?

Have you and your partner addressed any past issues that could be affecting your current relationship?

Are both you and your partner actively working to maintain and improve intimacy in your relationship?

Do you feel that your partner is as committed to addressing intimacy issues as you are?

Have you discussed ways to enhance intimacy and connection in your relationship?

Have you considered seeking help from a therapist or counselor to address intimacy issues?

Are you open to exploring couples therapy as a way to improve your relationship?

Do you have a support system (friends, family, professionals) to help you navigate intimacy concerns?

Have you taken time to reflect on your own feelings and behaviours related to intimacy?

Are there personal barriers or insecurities that might be affecting your ability to be intimate?

Are you willing to make changes and take steps to improve intimacy in your relationship?

What Should You Do?

Here’s our Psychologists’ advice for addressing intimacy issues in your relationship.

Open and Honest Communication
- Have a candid conversation about your feelings and needs related to intimacy.
- Use “I” statements to express your desires and concerns without blaming your partner (e.g., “I feel distant when…”).
- Encourage your partner to share their thoughts and listen actively and empathetically.
Increase Non-Sexual Physical Affection
- Incorporate more non-sexual touch, such as hugging, holding hands, and cuddling.
- Use physical affection to build a sense of comfort and connection.
- Make an effort to show affection regularly, not just during intimate moments.
Spend Quality Time Together
- Dedicate time to engage in activities you both enjoy, free from distractions.
- Plan regular date nights or special outings to reconnect.
- Use this time to focus on each other and strengthen your emotional bond.
Seek Professional Help
- Consult a couples therapist to explore and address intimacy issues.
- A therapist can provide tools and strategies to improve communication and intimacy.
- Therapy offers a safe space to discuss deeper issues and find solutions together.
Reignite Sexual Intimacy
- Talk openly about your sexual needs, desires, and boundaries.
- Be open to trying new activities or creating a romantic atmosphere.
- Approach sexual intimacy with patience and understanding, and focus on mutual satisfaction.

By focusing on these tips to reignite your relationship, you can take proactive steps towards improving the intimacy in your relationship, and the way you interact wth each other. Remember that building and maintaining intimacy requires ongoing effort, communication, and mutual support, but if both of you are on the same page, it seems less effort over time.

If you’re wanting to talk further with any of our relationship therapists about your concerns, reach out to us on 02 8883 3185 or through the below form, and we’ll be in touch to offer you some support.

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If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide, contact crisis support services such as Lifeline (13 11 14), the Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) or the NSW Mental Health Line (1800 011 511).

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